tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098049071459822748.post6868870133951564655..comments2024-02-18T00:24:05.514-08:00Comments on The Zoë-Trope: SUGAR AND SPICE AND ALL THINGS NICEZoë Marriotthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01275368005359548134noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098049071459822748.post-59232699178271614472011-04-15T12:04:43.157-07:002011-04-15T12:04:43.157-07:00;) Awwh. No, really -- you should be proud of your...;) Awwh. No, really -- you should be proud of yourself. Be proud of sticking up for who you are and what you believe in! I honestly could never have gone through all that without giving up. Never. Few people could. :)Isabelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11342147057396470743noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098049071459822748.post-18807881773716591872011-04-15T11:53:58.463-07:002011-04-15T11:53:58.463-07:00Stop that - you're going to make me blush :)Stop that - you're going to make me blush :)Zoë Marriotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01275368005359548134noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098049071459822748.post-76109207983599066252011-04-15T11:47:54.028-07:002011-04-15T11:47:54.028-07:00Thanks. Although what you went through in school w...Thanks. Although what you went through in school was by far many times worse. You are such a hero. :)Isabelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11342147057396470743noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098049071459822748.post-25314890004122330302011-04-15T10:21:43.330-07:002011-04-15T10:21:43.330-07:00Well done for being who you want to be and stickin...Well done for being who you want to be and sticking up for yourself, Isabel!Zoë Marriotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01275368005359548134noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098049071459822748.post-56451945180229561302011-04-15T10:18:37.905-07:002011-04-15T10:18:37.905-07:00What a fabulous post. I think that a lot of people...What a fabulous post. I think that a lot of people feel like they can't be who they want to be because of society's expectations. Boys feel like they can't be friends with girls because people will make fun of them. That's just not <i>right</i>. And I think most of us realize that, and want things to be different, but we don't think there's anything we can do about it. We're scared of sticking out. And how depressing is that, when we think about it? In my class I'm friends with both boys and girls, and let me tell you, sometimes it <i>can</i> be hard. I know that some girls say things behind my back, as well as in front of me. They don't get it. And it makes me sad sometimes. But for the most part I stand up for what I believe in, and I don't stop being friends with the people I like to hang out with and talk to and be friends with, because that wouldn't be right, and it wouldn't be fair to myself. Thanks so much for the post, Zoe. I appreciated it. :)Isabelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11342147057396470743noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098049071459822748.post-61464393714777733372011-04-14T11:07:07.528-07:002011-04-14T11:07:07.528-07:00I suffered through this contradiction too, bfree. ...I suffered through this contradiction too, bfree. I was taller and faster than all the boys in my class up to the age of about eleven - I was smarter than most of them too, and I spoke my mind. Which would probably have been all right if I was willing to be 'one of them', and honorary boy like a couple of other girls in the class. But I didn't want that. I wanted to wear the frilly dresses and the ribbons in my hair! And somehow that just WAS NOT cool. Either I was a girly girl and I ought to accept my place at the back, being cute and quiet, or I was to accept that girly things were disgusting and then it was okay to be fast and strong and brave. <br /><br />The idea of someone in a dress standing up to them made the boys act really viciously - and I can't count how many times teachers would say 'Well, don't play with the boys then! You're bound to get hurt!' as if a girl trying to keep up with boys was, by definition, going to get beaten up. When in actual fact, it usually took about four of them to catch me and hold me down, because I was better at fighting than any of them! Argghgg.Zoë Marriotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01275368005359548134noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098049071459822748.post-6370130619244787372011-04-14T10:55:09.322-07:002011-04-14T10:55:09.322-07:00I've had people say me to 'I thought you&#...I've had people say me to 'I thought you're too girly for those kind of books' when I was reading books such as Skulduggery Pleasant. I mean, does it SAY 'FOR BOYS ONLY'? And why can I not read what I want?<br /><br />bfree15: I totally get you. I was also labelled a tomboy, and when they found out I was a bit more boyish than they 'assumed all girls to be', it came across as a surprise to them. I mean, I thought it was pretty obvious that I was not *completely* girly... wasn't it?<br /><br />I dislike dolls xPMegzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08664110589451892977noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098049071459822748.post-59035468520267985862011-04-14T07:12:20.483-07:002011-04-14T07:12:20.483-07:00I love this post!
It really frustrates me that ev...I love this post! <br />It really frustrates me that everything we do has to be labelled in society. <br />I have always been labelled a “tomboy” because from a very young age I liked things that were not “girly” so to speak. <br />From the age of 5 I refused to wear dresses, skirts, or anything I thought was too “girly”. Also at the age of 5 I wanted my ears pierced and people thought this was then strange because they considered pieced ears “girly” and I wasn’t “girly”. It was like there was no middle ground I couldn’t like both “boyish” and “girly” things at the same time.<br />People would blame how I was because on the amount of brothers I have as though they needed a reason for me liking “boys” things. <br />I also remember at Secondary school my best friends mum didn’t really like me being friends with her daughter because she thought I was a bad influence; making her daughter more “tomboyish”. <br />Anyway I never let it stop me from being who I am and doing the things that make me happy. Nobody should feel like they have to conform to society’s image of “normal” <br /><br />I could rant all day about this but I’m going to shut up now. <br />Thanks for posting.bfree15https://www.blogger.com/profile/02251111454128065633noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098049071459822748.post-23462749381237699042011-04-13T23:18:47.531-07:002011-04-13T23:18:47.531-07:00Oh, me too Elise! Not dolls, so much - for some re...Oh, me too Elise! Not dolls, so much - for some reason I never really cared about dolls. I had a whole menagerie of stuffed animals, though. And I loved to steal MY younger brother's Mechano (that's a construction kit) and his spaceship toys and his He-Man action figures. No one ever stopped me from doing this, but no one ever bought me my OWN Mechano or spaceships, either. And when my brother wanted to play with my Barbies, my father threw a fit and took them away from him.Zoë Marriotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01275368005359548134noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098049071459822748.post-60628945598797031422011-04-13T15:08:42.192-07:002011-04-13T15:08:42.192-07:00As a little kid, I always loved playing with dolls...As a little kid, I always loved playing with dolls and stuffed animals, but I was also always glad that I had a younger brother who needed my "help" with all his lego sets (I pretty much took over), and to this day we have frequent lightsaber duels. (which I win) I was always dismayed that they didn't make lego sets with less violent themes, so that I could have my own. I did get a Nerf gun one year, though!Elisenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098049071459822748.post-80681444249045246522011-04-13T14:10:30.480-07:002011-04-13T14:10:30.480-07:00Thanks, Katie-Lynn. The double-standard is pretty ...Thanks, Katie-Lynn. The double-standard is pretty messed up all right - and it hurts boys in many ways just as much as it hurts girls.Zoë Marriotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01275368005359548134noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098049071459822748.post-56339101701628880862011-04-13T13:05:32.098-07:002011-04-13T13:05:32.098-07:00Great job on the post. It's so sad that people...Great job on the post. It's so sad that people aren't seen as people, that we're restricted to our genders. The double standard that all of us encounter is ridiculous. Girls can wear pants or a skirt, but heaven forbid if a boy wanted to wear a skirt. If boys are promiscuous they get a high five, if girls are, then they're given a big dirty badge of shame.Katie-Lynnnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098049071459822748.post-41172729623594640862011-04-13T12:08:06.733-07:002011-04-13T12:08:06.733-07:00Megha: Yes, I thought that was the case - I just d...Megha: Yes, I thought that was the case - I just didn't want to leave that remark, which could have upset someone if they misread it, unchallenged.Zoë Marriotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01275368005359548134noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098049071459822748.post-29388928071288292722011-04-13T12:07:03.858-07:002011-04-13T12:07:03.858-07:00Thanks, Raimy. That story is so sad, but well done...Thanks, Raimy. That story is so sad, but well done you for being able to treat a person as a PERSON instead of a gender stereotype. I'm sure that guy appreciated it. Chances are he expected to meet nothing but rudeness and bad reactions in that shop - at least he met one friendly person instead (I kind of want to go back in time, find him, and hug him for having the courage to go in at all).Zoë Marriotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01275368005359548134noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098049071459822748.post-68944084616060437302011-04-13T11:34:13.296-07:002011-04-13T11:34:13.296-07:00Awesome post Zoe. I did my dissertation on the lan...Awesome post Zoe. I did my dissertation on the language use in The Illustrated mum by Jacqueline wilson and gender stereotyping. its something that I think about a lot.<br /><br />I really hate it when people are judged for how they want to act. I used to work in River Island while I was at uni and one night a man came in to ask for some women's clothes, they were for him and he didnt hide that but I was the ONLY person in the shop who was perfectly normal with him, everyone else looked at him as if he was crap and when I took him to the menswear floor to the changing rooms the lad on the cash desk practically shouted "but he's a bloke, he cant try them on!" I felt so sorry for all of my workmates because they couldn't actually bring themselves to help him out. It probably took a lot for him to even come in and ask for the clothes, he shouldn't have been made to feel out of place, and he was an absolutely lovely guy.Raimy from Readaraptor Hatchlinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08060834482678440435noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098049071459822748.post-53907479386568697952011-04-13T08:51:19.633-07:002011-04-13T08:51:19.633-07:00Zoe: Oh, sorry for the confusion... Reading back, ...Zoe: Oh, sorry for the confusion... Reading back, I guess I didn't mean that *exactly*... I agree with what you said about feminine/female and masculine/male. I have long hair, like to look a *bit* girly ;) and collect teddies. There's nothing wrong with THAT.<br /><br />I should've thought over my comment... but it was MOSTLY correct.Megzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08664110589451892977noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098049071459822748.post-35197580864950587942011-04-13T07:52:02.513-07:002011-04-13T07:52:02.513-07:00I'm glad you liked it, Cass - now go to bed!I'm glad you liked it, Cass - now go to bed!Zoë Marriotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01275368005359548134noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098049071459822748.post-38548731454310742011-04-13T07:47:48.476-07:002011-04-13T07:47:48.476-07:00Thank you, Megha. I used to be quite judgemental a...Thank you, Megha. I used to be quite judgemental about those extreme personality types too - but try to remember that we're ALL (more than any of us probably realise) being bombarded with these messages and images all the time, and also that there's nothing inherently wrong with 'feminine' or 'masculine' traits or interests. <br /><br />The problem is that 99.99% of people think 'feminine' means female and and 'masculine' means male. But that's not the case. Both men and woman naturally have both masculine and feminine traits and interests in various combinations and strengths. It's when outside forces such as the media define what masculine and feminine are FOR us, and enforce the idea that the two are inextricably linked to physical gender, that people are often damaged. <br /><br />In many ways I'm quite 'girly' - I have long hair, I like to wear nail polish and pretty dresses and jewellery, and I collect teddy bears! But I also try to be aware of the difference between my own essential feminine traits, and the ones that society tries to force on me. I'm happy that I live in a country where I'm free to put on trousers if I want - and I do feel sorry for boys and men in our current society, who are made to feel that the slightest hint of interest in or sympathy with 'feminine' things, makes them horribly flawed. How awful to grow up feeling that!Zoë Marriotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01275368005359548134noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098049071459822748.post-64195453120855264192011-04-13T07:39:11.720-07:002011-04-13T07:39:11.720-07:00Ooh, very insightful. I've actually had to par...Ooh, very insightful. I've actually had to partake in an online group discussion for my uni course on this very topic. These assumptions are so heavily embedded in our society that it has just become accepted. <br /><br />Sorry it's way too late for me to be thinking about this stuff right now. I'll try again tomorrow haha. (it's past midnight here in Australia)Casshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07568646164849243366noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4098049071459822748.post-87426205019892210252011-04-13T07:34:59.895-07:002011-04-13T07:34:59.895-07:00A v. v. v. nice post, Zoe. And a very true one. An...A v. v. v. nice post, Zoe. And a very true one. And I totally agree with you.<br /><br />Over the past few years, when I've actually, properly grown up and learnt about the world around me, I've come to despise girly girls or boyish boys. I hate them. A lot. Because I always thought the separation has been stupid. A fix personality has been set upon them, despite their REAL choice - what they truthfully think.<br /><br />I'm also v. annoyed that people think that books are specifically for girls or boys. Girls have been reading books by men all the time. There are *no such things* as 'boy books'. ARGH. <br /><br />Thank you for this post. We need a reminder sometimes.Megzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08664110589451892977noreply@blogger.com