ARCHIVE TREASURE: DEAR TEEN ME

(Originally posted on this blog in April 2011, now retrieved from the archive, gently dusted off and reposted for your reading pleasure)

***WARNING! ADULT LANGUAGE BELOW!***

Hey you! Yes, you – the fourteen year old with the nail scissors! Put those down and pay attention. I’ve got something to say to you, something you need to hear. Listen up.

You’re in a pretty awful place right now. You’re in a place not many people get low enough to experience in their lives, and even fewer climb out of. This is probably the worst you’ve ever felt about yourself, and you’re thinking: can I go on like this for another day? Do I even want to try? Maybe there’s only one way out...

No, don’t try and brush me off. I’m not going to be fooled by that big goofy grin or your hyperactive chatter. I know the truth. Those half-healed cuts and scratches on your arms and legs? The ‘accidental’ ones that you lie about so well that no one ever questions you?

Yeah. I still have those scars, kiddo. So let’s not play games.

Today, on the way home from school, a group of about ten boys, ranging in age from twelve to sixteen, cornered you. They pushed you up against the wall of a building. They ripped your clothes, groped you, laughed in your face, and spat on you. That was the worst part, somehow. That they spat in your face, on your hair, everywhere. They taunted you while they did it. When you finally, finally, finally managed to get away and get home, you scrubbed yourself until your skin bled, washed your hair until handfuls started coming out. But no matter what you did, you couldn’t get clean. You feel like you’ll never be clean again.

You won't even bother telling anyone about this. Not your parents, sister, teachers. Because you've tried before - you've tried so many times - and it never makes anything better. None of them are surprised anymore, horrified anymore, interested anymore. They'll just ask 'What did you do? Why were you there? Didn't you have any friends to protect you?' and by the time they've finished asking questions you, too, will have started to wonder if it was all your own fault. 

And you and I both know that this isn’t the worst thing that’s ever happened to you.

Every day since you were eleven, you’ve gotten up, eaten breakfast, left your house, and walked into a nightmare.

You’ve been kicked, pinched, punched, tripped, pushed down stairs, stabbed in the back of your hand, had ink poured down your back, and on one memorable occasion, had eight separate pieces of chewing gum stuck in your hair. You’ve been shunned. Screamed at. Tortured in every way that a person can be, short of hot pokers and bamboo shoots under the nails.

You’ve watched every person you ever called a friend scatter because just being close to you was too dangerous.

You’ve seen teachers who pounce on improperly fastened school uniforms or kids holding hands in the corridor brush off your suffering by telling you to ‘Stop making a fuss' or 'just ignore it’. You’ve lived through punishments on the occasions when you dared to fight back.

You’ve heard your own parents ask each other, when they thought you couldn’t hear: ‘Why does this keep happening? What is she doing wrong? What is wrong with her?’

That’s the question I’m here to answer for you, fourteen-year-old Zolah. Just what the Hell is wrong with you?

Nothing.

Not a single, solitary fucking thing.

Shut up. Don’t start arguing with me. Don’t start crying. You’ve never let them see you cry, and now is not the time to start.

This isn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything to deserve this. There’s nothing missing inside you, no essential flaw, no reason at all why 50% of the kids at your school take pleasure in tormenting you, or why none of the adults in your life seem to be able to help you.

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.

There’s some stuff right with you, though. Some stuff you’ve never realised because you’re too miserably depressed, lonely and self-loathing to realise it. Let me spell it out.

You’re brave. You’re incredibly, stunningly, wonderfully brave. You don’t know this. In fact, you think you’re a coward, that if you were just brave enough you could get people to leave you alone. But the truth is that the courage it takes to keep walking into that school, day after day, to keep putting your hand up in class, to keep studying and doing your homework, to keep reading your books and talking exactly how you want to talk? Is possibly the greatest courage in the world. I’m awed by that courage. One day you’re going to be awed by it too.

You’re also compassionate. Don’t ask me why that matters. I know it’s not a virtue anyone gives a crap about in your life right now, but one day your kindness is going to make you real friends. Friends who will do anything for you, friends who’ll stick with you no matter what, who would never abandon you and take cover. Friends who’ll make your life worth living.

And you’re clever – and it’s not anything to be ashamed of. You sometimes wonder if it wouldn’t be better if you were like everyone else, if you thought books were stupid, if you didn’t want to learn. But you’re dead wrong. Your intelligence is a gift, an amazing gift. Stop cursing it.

So here’s the deal. I’m not going to lie. Things aren’t going to look up straight away. In fact, you’ve got some bad stuff to come. Really bad. But you are going to survive it. And in the not-too-distant future, good things are going to start happening, things which will make up for everything you’ve gone through so far. I promise. YOU will make those things happen. The very traits the other kids hate about you, the bravery, compassion and intelligence that they try to beat out of you, will allow you to follow and find your dreams.

So put those scissors down, okay? You don’t have to punish yourself. You don’t have to keep hurting yourself. You didn’t do anything wrong. There is nothing wrong with you. You’re going to put the scissors down, Zolah. And someday - not any day soon, but someday - you’re going to be all right.

**This is a guest post that was written for the wonderful site Dear Teen Me. Check it out to read hilarious and inspiring letters from authors all over the world to their teen selves**

ARCHIVE TREASURE: IS YA FICTION TOO DARK?

(Originally posted 5/06/2011, now retrieved from the archive, gently dusted off, and re-posted for your reading pleasure)

When I woke up this morning to find my Twitter feed being eaten alive by references to an article in the Wall Street Journal about YA literature, my first reaction was confusion, because that article came out ages ago. Didn't it? Oh, no - this was a NEW article from the WSJ, ANOTHER article belittling my genre and chosen medium as an artist. Did a YA author kick the editor of the WSJ in the ankle on the train recently or something? These guys just don't seem to like us. But then, thinking about it, no one really seems to like us, do they?

Pretty much every other day YA writers have to put up with another condescending article in which the entire field of young adult and children's writing is compressed down to the sparkly vampire elements so that the journalist can smirk. Or a comment from some lauded adult literary writer who thinks anyone who bothers writing for people under the age of eighteen is mentally defective. Or an article like this one, that bemoans the debauched, depraved tone of YA literature and compares it unfavourably to the books of the writer's own childhood.

The first thing most of these articles do is to point out how new YA is. And they're right. Young Adult only got its own shelf in the library or bookshop sometime in the late eighties or early nineties. Before that, there was just children's and adult's. And not long before that, there was adult, all on its own, and children read the Bible and classics and that was it. A lot of people seem to wish for a return to this state of affairs - or, at least, that's how it seems to those of us who keep finding ourselves under attack for daring to see young adults as a worthy audience with high intelligence, enquiring minds, and their own particular experiences and concerns, who deserve books specifically written for them.

In the minds of these article-writers, new = bad. Just as, apparently, truthful, intense, dark books which explore the real world young adults share with the rest of us = bad. The YA haters, whatever their stated concerns, always seem to be looking back, longing for some past Golden Age of Innocence, when books for younger readers were bright and cheerful and happy and uncomplicated. A hazy, non-specific 1950's lite period, when kids were respectful to their elders, no one had to lock their doors, child abuse was unheard of. When children never cried alone, or hurt themselves or others. When, presumably, young people themselves were bright, cheerful, happy and uncomplicated.

Here's a little newsflash for you. That time never actually existed.

It is a product of the adult imagination. Nothing more than convenient fantasy. Weak and feeble nostalgia. And kids know it.

The world has never been 100% cheery and happy and uncomplicated. Tragically, kids have always been abused. They have always suffered in silence, hurt themselves and others. Children have always, always, always partaken of the pain and agony of humanity, as well as its joy and brightness. They have always had to live with the same darkness, the same wars, the same nightmares as adults do. In fact, they've normally caught the worst of it. Take a look at childhood and infant mortality rates in any third world country if you don't believe me. Actually, take a look at child poverty statistics for the U.S. right now. Still feeling nice and cozy there on your moral high ground?

One of the most heart-breaking parts of Meghan Cox Gurdon's article is the way that she dismisses Scars, a novel by Cheryl Rainfield. Ms Cox Gurdon thinks the subject of the book - a girl who cuts to help herself cope with years of systematic abuse by her father - 'normalises' self-harm. That the topics it covers are 'lurid'. She criticises the cover with it's photograph of a 'horribly scarred forearm'. Apparently all this stuff is just too 'depraved' for teens.

Does Ms Cox Gurdon realise that Cheryl Rainfield herself was ritually and sytematically tortured by her parents as a child? That the forearm she dismisses as horrible actually belongs to Cheryl? Here, the author uses her own experiences to write a book that reaches back to her childhood self, reaches out to the thousands of other children who are going through what she went through, and tells them 'You can survive this. Don't lose hope.' Scars is an artistic act of the highest courage possible and one I admire more than I can say.

But Ms Cox Gurdon, like others of her kind, does not care about the children whose lives might be saved by this book. Or the thousands of other children who, through reading such a book, will gain understanding, empathy and compassion for the survivors of abuse and become better, more rounded individuals. She wants to pretend that bad things don't happen to anyone real - especially kids - that 'normal' people don't find this stuff relevent, that no one she knows or cares about could be damaged and hurting like the character in Scars.

Let me now address the YA haters directly - for my own satisfaction, but also in hopes of getting through some seriously thick skulls:

The reason you feel free to attack YA this way is because you think it's a soft target. You think it's valueless. You think no one takes it seriously. You think the YA field is a fleeting flash in the pan, getting undeserved attention and success. You think if you sit in judgement in your safe little corner, it'll all go away and proper literature (that's the stuff you like) will eventually take its place.

Unfortunately for you, this attitude betrays you. It makes clear your true feelings about young adults, the very people for whom you profess to have such concern.

You think young adults are valueless. You don't take them seriously. You dismiss their feelings and experiences as fleeting and shallow. You think if you just din your own personal values and beliefs into young adult heads hard enough, you'll be able to drown out their questions, their inconvenient new ideas, their worrying complexity, and produce a Mini-You, an adult in teenage clothing.

Nope.

YA is too dark for you? Too bleak? Too sad, and challenging and REAL? You think we should all collude in some kind of mass hallucination in which we pretend bad things never happen, and kids exist in a perpetual state of rosy-cheeked glee and laughter? Well, I'll tell you what. You build yourself a nice spaceship, find a new planet and create that ideal, shiny world. Invite your family and friends. I'm sure it'll be just swell. So long as everyone represses their real feelings forever, of course.

But the rest of us are live HERE. Including those of humanity who are too young and vulnerable to have voices of their own. They look to the writers of YA fiction to speak to them, to speak the truth. To write books that are brave enough to touch them in their isolation and loneliness.

In spite of you, and everything you do to tell young adults that they don't get a say, that their experiences are lesser, that if they just ignore the pain it will go away, that none of it matters and in years to come they will look back and laugh? They will grow into the people they should be. They will grow into new writers and artists, trail-blazers, kicking the status quo in the teeth and telling things like they are.

Young adult literature is new. It's raw and brash and brazen. It's trashy, silly, funny and beautiful. It's stomach-churing, harrowing and dark. It's subtle, complex, transformative and brave.

It's ART, for God's sake. What do you expect?

And when young adults dive into it, they will find all these horrors and wonders - and they will find themselves.

If you don't like it? Your spaceship awaits. Bon voyage!

ARE YOU A PATREON OF THE ARTS?

Hello, Dear Readers! BIG ANNOUNCEMENT today!

No, I'm not giving up on writing and moving to Tibet to herd yaks. I'm not changing my name to Lady Floreline P. Scumbletrump, getting a nose job, or switching genres to sexy romance novels with barechested hunks on the cover and titles like 'Seducing the Laird's Virgin Mistress'.

It's far more exciting than that.

I've launched a Patreon page!

Right here: https://www.patreon.com/zoemarriott

What the flying pamplemoose is a Patreon page, you ask? I would be happy - nay, delighted - to explain, Dear Readers.

But first we need to back up a little bit.

You see, for years and years and years here on The Zoë-Trope - since 2010, eep - I've been writing in-depth essays about all aspects of the writing craft and providing individual advice on issues like writer's block, motivation, publishing and the reality of the writing life. The blog's grown from teeny-tiny beginnings to the point where it gets around 1500 hits per day - nearly 50,000 a month. That's more than I ever could have dreamed when I started out! I used to get excited if I got 30 hits a week!

Professional writers have (with permission!) reproduced my essays in their classrooms order to teach creative writing at university level. My words have been quoted in writing magazines and even national newspapers. The All About Writing Archive contains hundreds of posts, hundreds of thousands of words, and represents years of my life. It's helped make me so many friends and I also believe that it's made me a better writer.

What it doesn't do at the moment is help to support my actual job, which (to my continuing surprise and joy) is writing ground-breaking, diverse, Feminist fantasy novels for young adults.

I'm a full-time writer. This means I'm effectively running a small business on my own. I spend a lot of time on things like organising receipts, keeping accounts, writing and sending and chasing up invoices, completing tax returns, arranging and attending book events, and promoting my work. If I don't have a contract with a publisher (and right now I don't) I need to find the money to support myself through other work (like my Royal Literary Fellowship) or through writing grant applications and entering competitions and prizes and crossing my fingers.

All of this takes time. A LOT OF TIME. I can't emphasize this enough. Actual writing doesn't even make up 50% of the time I spend working. Every writer I know is the same: we're constantly scrambling for any extra moment (in a cafe, on the bus or train, while in the hospital waiting room) to actually get some writing done.

And one of the biggest draws on my time, historically, has been my blog.

Now, I love this blog. I love YOU GUYS and having the chance to interact with you and talk to you about books and publishing and writing. I can't even express how much it means to me. But if I spend a day organising my receipts and chasing invoices, that has a direct and positive result on my business - I know what money is going out and am making sure I have money coming in. If I go to a book event to promote myself and sell a bunch of signed books, that is literally keeping my business afloat. And if I spend a day writing, and produce 2000 words, then that's contributing towards my art AND hopefully producing a piece of work which I can one day sell so that I can keep my business going for another year.

But if I spend a day writing a 2000 word essay for this blog, or answering someone's writing related question? It doesn't contribute towards my income or the well-being of my business at all. This isn't promotional stuff - it's not like sharing updates on book releases or events or even snippets of what I'm working on. In fact, it's taking time away from tasks that DO help to bring in some income. In other words, running the blog basically costs money that I (and, you know, my dog and the cats) need to live on.

As a result, the busier I've got trying to keep my business going - and the more worried I've been about money - the less time and joy I've had to dedicate to answering questions and writing essays.

That's been pretty sad for me, if I'm honest. I'm sure it's also been sad for you, Dear Readers. I've let Reader Questions and Tips for Young Writers nearly disappear from the blog at this point. The All About Writing archive hadn't been updated for over a year, and it was never really complete. Given the somewhat sucky search function on Blogger, that's a lot of advice and information that's not being utilised to its fullest extent, and a lot of questions going unanswered.

And that's where Patreon comes in. 

Because Patreon is a rather cool platform on which artists and other creative people like myself can offer exclusive content and rewards to fans who help support them.

I've taken down the (somewhat crappy) All About Writing page that used to live here - and I'm going to recreate it there. But better. I'm going to re-write, revise and refresh every single essay and piece of advice I've ever given and then repost it on my Patreon feed. I'll post at least one, preferably two pieces of writing or publishing related content every week, and sometimes more. I'll go back to answering reader questions on a regular basis. Once I reach a certain number of followers I'll open up a monthly poll that Patrons can vote in to tell me what aspects of writing they'd like me to explore, explain, and offer advice on.

This blog will still exist, and will still be updated a couple of times a month. I'll still rant here occasionally about Feminism, offer book reviews, and talk about what I'm working on and what I've got happening in terms of book releases and events. But readers who want more than that - which I know isn't everyone! - can subscribe to the Patreon for as little as about two quid a month in order to have access to that archive of in-depth, up-to-date writing advice. People who subscribe at the higher tier get to ask questions and have them answered, and those on the top tier (still under eight quid a month) get all that AND will get to see their names in the acknowledgements of all my books, as well as receiving advanced copies and other cool things.

Readers who chose to support me and want that extra content will have an ever-evolving resource where they are always guaranteed to get exactly the stuff they want, every week. And I can spend the time required to maintain and expand on that resource without feeling harried and guilty about taking the time away from 'real' work. Because creating writing essays and answering questions will now BE PART OF MY JOB.

How cool is that?

Head over to my Patreon and check it out, lovelies. There's one free post already available there and two more in the Patron only feed waiting. If you feel it's good value for money, you can become a part of a brand new community of writers there. And even if you can't subscribe yourself - which I totally understand! - you can still really help by sharing the page on social media and sending links to any of your writing friends you think might be interested.

I'm very excited about this. So like it says on the Patreon page itself: JOIN ME! We'll have fun and learn stuff :)

YAY!

Hello, lovely readers! I hope you had a great week and weekend despite the lack of a blog from me. Said lack of blog was due to my being in Londonium for two days - and said trip to London (in the middle of our first mini-heatwave of the year) was due to BAREFOOT ON THE WIND being up for the Hillingdon Book of the Year awards.

After a morning working with the brilliant, clever and just all-around *awesome* kids who'd voted for my book, we came up with a presentation about why they thought BAREFOOT should win, including a dramatic rendition of a scene from the book complete with talking trees, a bow-wielding 'Hana', and the most adorable tiger in all the world. 

 

Sadly we lost out on the best presentation award to Nicole Burstein's 'Wonder Squad' (very well deserved, Nicole - and it was lovely to meet you!). But I'm delighted to say that despite this, BAREFOOT ON THE WIND won the day after all!

Yep, that's me - with the Mayor, no less! It's the first reader-voted award I've received - other things like the Sasakawa Prize and the USBBY Outstanding International award, although I'm very proud of them, were voted on by panels of adults in offices far away. So this means a huge amount to me. Thank you, Hillingdon! Especially the lovely teachers and librarians who looked after me, and the gorgeous and talented young ladies of the Tiger Team. RAAWWRRR!

In other news, I'm quoted this week in the Guardian, in an article about cultural appropriation and whether it should stop writers from creating characters outside of their own experience. I'd just like to make it clear, though, that I wasn't - er - addressing admonishments to Antony Horowitz, or anything. I've never met him, and my remarks were intended to be general! Eeep.

Finally, a reminder of a couple of other events coming up. Firstly, I'm going to be doing a panel event at Bradford Lit Fest again this year (thanks for inviting me back, guys) with some absolute legends. Tickets are still for sale and you can find out all about it here.

AND, if that wasn't enough, I'm going to be at YALC this year! I'm not allowed to share details of my event just yet, but I can say that I'll be there on Saturday and that I'm very excited about my panel. You can book tickets here, so get on that if you'd like to attend.

Have a great week, Dear Readers! Don't get sunburned - or drowned, when our brief burst of nice weather inevitably ends in tears...

WRITER BUSINESS: FULL POST

Hello, hello, hello lovely readers! After my break last week (which was basically in aid of a few days off for my birthday) I'm back this week with the full post that I wrote for Author Allsorts a couple of weeks ago, both because I know there are readers who are not fans of/don't have the time to click away when I post links to guest posts here, and because I want to be able to add a link to the post to my All About Writing page. It turned out to be pretty popular and a lot of people got in touch to tell me it was helpful, so I'm hoping anyone who missed out on it the first time will get a chance to see it now.

Newcomers to the writing scene may perhaps be fooled. When you read the phrase 'writer' and 'business' in the same sentence, it's all too easy to jump to the conclusion that I mean the very important business of which pyjamas to wear into the Writer's Cave today, methods of ensuring the supply of coffee doesn't run out midway through a tricky scene, or even how to convince family and friends that when you're staring fixedly into space for half an hour you are, in fact, still working, and now is not the time to begin telling you all about the disastrous cake at aunt Caroline's charity coffee morning.

It's true that most of us like to maintain an elaborate fantasy in which we're fluffy, flakey creatives who couldn't possibly be expected to keep track of income and expenditure, or understand taxes. But in reality, if and when you become a published writer, you will at some point need to start thinking of yourself as a business (to a certain extent - don't turn into a soulless, faceless, profit-obsessed monomaniac... unless you enjoy it, I suppose). Otherwise you will not only find yourself in all kinds of unpleasant money and legal tangles, but you may miss out on opportunities or entitlements which could be yours.

You see, if you're a business (as well as a creative individual) then you have value. Others may chose to invest in you - which is ultimately what publishers are doing when they offer you a contract. It doesn't mean that you need to transform into Alan Sugar. It does mean you need to get a handle on what your responsibilities and resources are, and the sooner the better.

First of all, when you start turning a profit from your work - that is, when the income you are receiving from your work exceeds the outgoings required to produce it - you will need to register as self-employed. It's not an arduous process, although for anyone whose only dealings with tax so far have been having their money deducted at source through PAYE it can be a little intimidating at first. I'm informed that the service isn't so great now as it was (many long years ago) when I used it, but the HMRC still have a Newly Self Employed Helpline which is supposed to be there to offer you support and guidance.

Next up - do you have MS Office or some other office software that includes a spreadsheet function? Do you understand how to set up and maintain spreadsheets? If yes, then you have a great advantage on many writers, and you should immediately set up a spreadsheet for income and expenditure related to being a writer.

If NOT - and for the record, although I have MS Office I can't figure out spreadsheets unless someone else sets them up for me - then you will need to set up some kind of document whereby you separate the page into two columns. In the first, faithfully record every payment that you receive related to writing. And that means everything, including £4:50 for selling someone a spare copy of your book. In the second column, equally (if not more!) faithfully record every single expense related to writing, including, you'll be happy to hear, money spent on books, stationery, research, and travel expenses.

Do not wait until the end of the month. Do not tell yourself you'll do it later when things have calmed down a bit. DO IT NOW. This instant. Set it up on your Smartphone if you have one. Perhaps you have an amazing memory and think that it'll be no big deal, in a couple of weeks, to remember to add that £66.30 you were paid for a school creative writing workshop or the £2.80 you spent on postage, but I assure you that when there are a handful of varied, often small amounts coming in and out each month, you will forget something. I promise. Write it down now.

If you're not running a spreadsheet which will tot up totals for you as you go along, this is going to look like a lot of scary numbers. You can help yourself by adding up the totals yourself once a month and noting down the running total right there in the column so that when you come to the end of the tax year you're not having to add up twelve months worth of expenses in one go.
A helpful hint: even if your first profit from writing came in during some other month, like June or even December, it's most convenient to ensure that your records start on April the 5th so that they run parallel to the tax year, and finish on April 4th. You can do this by going back to April and looking at your expenditures for writing from that point and noting them down in the second column. Use your bank statements, Ebay and Amazon order history to jog your memory on what you spent.

Also invest in a file box like this, preferably one with twelve dividers (one for each month of the tax year, from April 5th-April 4th). Label them for each month, and when you're out doing shopping and you buy some pens, or a magazine with an article that might be useful for your new book, or pay for a taxi/bus/train home from a book signing, make sure you get a receipt and tuck it safely into your purse or wallet. Then when you arrive home, put that receipt into this month's section. It's also a great idea to print out Amazon or Ebay or other online invoices and do the same. You're supposed to keep these for five years, believe it or not, to back up your records for the HMRC. If you forget to keep or ask for a receipt, HMRC will accept a 'contemporary note', which means you should write down what you spent, when, and on what, on a piece of paper and sign it, and put it in there instead.

These things are important because once you've registered for self-employment you're going to need to do self-assessment. This is where you fill in a tax return showing the HMRC what you've spent and earned via writing each tax year and then they tell you how much tax you owe them. Nowadays they also collect your extra National Insurance contributions this way as well. For many of us, especially when starting out, this is a tiny or even non-existent amount. However, if you have another job then often this will use up all of your tax-free allowance, which makes it more likely you'll be paying out tax on your writing earnings.

Some writers, perpetually skint and brought up to consider paying other people for a job they can do themselves to be lazy and shameful, will actually do the self-assessment tax return themselves, even if it causes them to lose about a million braincells through stress each year (that's me, for the record). Others, especially those who have a day job or started their careers with a decent advance, will prudently engage the services of an accountant (best to get one who is experienced in dealing with other writers through, since there are a lot of loopholes and codicils related to creative work that the average accountant may be unaware of). In either case, you will need these records of income and expenditure (generally known as your accounts) and receipts so that you or your accountant actually has the information required to fill in the online tax return.

Now for some more cheerful stuff! Public Lending Right is the author's statutory right, within the UK, to receive a small amount (about 6p most years) each time a copy of their book is borrowed in the UK's public libraries. The moment that your book has been officially published you should register for this. Most writers don't receive a huge amount from it, but the more books you publish the more it adds up, so make it a habit to register each new book as they come out, including any large print or reissued editions which have a separate ISBN.

There's also the Authors Liscensing and Collecting Society, which works in a similar way, but gathers up payments for all kinds of other uses for your work - say, teachers photocopying a bit of your book for a class, or quotes from your work that might be used in academia. Again, it's not often a huge amount, but it covers not just UK but also foreign editions of your work. The ALCS does charge to join and they also take a percentage of the money that they collect. However, if you register to become a member of the Society of Authors - which, if you can afford it, I recommend that you do as quickly as possible as soon as you have a publishing contract - then membership to the ALCS becomes free, although they still take their percentage from the money they collect.

On the topic of the Society of Authors: once you're a member you will have access to all kinds of resources, including a series of useful, downloadable guides which offer a lot of detail about all kinds of writing-business-related subjects which I've glanced on here. You're also entitled to free legal advice, such as contract vetting, which can be very helpful. The Society also runs The Author's Foundation, which offers grants to writers who have a publishing contract or a history of published work, in order to help them with research costs, or buying time to write.

The Arts Council also make grants to writers - through the Grants for the Arts programme - of between £1,000 and £15,000. These are for artists who wish to develop their careers or skills, need to buy time to write, or want to do research that they otherwise couldn't afford. You'll find it easiest to access this if you're already published and have a publishing contract in place, but there are exceptions.

If you're a writer in trouble - perhaps you've lost your day job, suddenly become a carer, or had a vital source of writing income unexpectedly fall through - then there is help available to you through the Author's Contingency Fund (again, run through the Society of Authors) and through the Royal Literary Fund, who can make grants to help writers gain a little breathing room or to solve their immediate financial emergency. Again, you usually need to have a publishing history, and not all writers can be successful in applying to these, but it's often worth a try.

Finally, have you ever thought about Tax Credits? They're not just for people with kids - if you're working full-time but your household income is below a certain level then you may be entitled to these (even if, like me, you are happily childless). Work through the Tax Credits Calculator and find out, then phone up for an application form. 

One last piece of advice from me: don't hesitate to apply for things that you may be entitled to, like Tax Credits or grants, based on the (rather British) belief that you shouldn't put yourself forward, or that your 'hobby' isn't worthwhile. So long as you're honest about what you're doing and earning you will not get into trouble for asking, and if you DON'T ask, then you won't ever get. The worst anyone can do is say no. So be brave, be organised, and embrace writing not only as a vocation, but as a career.

Phew. I hope this has been helpful, duckies. If anyone can think of any resources I've missed, please do feel free to toss them in the comments :)

WRITER BUSINESS

Hello and happy Monday, Dear Readers! Especially happy for those enjoying the bank holiday here in the UK, although I hope it's not too bad for everyone in the rest of the world.

Today's post is over on Author Allsorts and is exactly what is says on the tin: a piece about the business of being a writer, from registering as self-employed right at the start to sources of help for writers later on in their careers. Check it out now.

Read you later, my lovelies!

RETRO-WEDNESDAY: MY THOUGHTS ON BLOGGERS vs AUTHORS LET ME SHOW YOU THEM

Hello, and happy Wednesday - or should I say, Retro-Wednesday? - my lovely readers. Yes, that's right, it's one of those legendary days when I emerge, bruised, dusty and exhausted, yet triumphant, from the archives of the blog, dragging a well-aged and mature post behind me in the hopes that some of you may not have read it the first time around, or may enjoy reading it a second time.

Here we go! MY THOUGHTS ON BLOGGERS vs AUTHORS LET ME SHOW YOU THEM

Today I'm doing that thing again. You know. The thing where I cast common sense and the wise advice of friends to the wind and venture onto a topic that anyone with half a grain of sense would treat like a canister of highly radioactive material (don't even go near unless there's some kind of life-or-death-Tom-Cruise's-furrowed-brow situation, and even then only while wearing a full hazmat suit and using mechanical pincers instead of your actual hands).

Today, I would like to talk about this whole Authors vs. Bloggers debate.

WHAT did you say?!

Disclaimer: I'm not attempting to be definitive here. I have no ambitions of Saying All The Things and single-handedly producing World Blogger/Author peace. I just have all these...feelings. You know: conflicted, squirmy, put-you-off-your-icecream feelings, churning away inside, and I'll feel better if I spill them out onto the page. If you want clear-sighted wisdom, you might be better off seeking out the Dalai Lama, or perhaps Justine Larbalestier.

I'm also well aware that there are many bloggers and authors who may read this post with puzzled faces of adorable confusion and say 'Huh? I've never noticed any of this! Where's all this going on?' My post today is a response to things I've seen bloggers and authors talking about on various comment threads and websites all over the place, and to several recent incidents of Internet Drama(TM) that have blown up and then blown out again. If it's all Greek to you? Well done; you've successfully done what the rest of us wished we could and steered well clear of all the angst. Go on your merry way and ignore my convoluted ramblings with a light heart.

So. This debate. Let me break it down a little.

BLOGGERS & REVIEWERS

Right now we have this vibrant, thriving, book blogging community on the internet. It encompasses book-review sites like Goodreads and LibraryThing and people's own personal blogs, and participants  span the whole of the real world and might realistically be any age between eleven and ninety. This community loves to read, loves books, loves authors, and on the surface of things there really seems to be no reason why all of us shouldn't be skipping through fields of daisies together, holding hands and singing Justin Beiber's Greatest Hits (wait - is that kid old enough to have Greatest Hits? If not, we can just sing Kumbaya, I suppose).

But beneath the surface of the community there are deep divisions - essential differences in approach and philosophy which constantly cause dissent and even sometimes acrimony and hatred. In order to make sense of this, I'm going to talk about the two different kinds of bloggers you tend to find in the reviewing world (most reviewers, in reality, fall somewhere in the middle of these two extremes - but this is just to illustrate my point).

Some bloggers regard authors and publishers and the whole book blogging world like this:

Let's all eat cake. And be friends!

They love to able to interact with and be taken seriously by people in the publishing industry. They regard it as a privilege to be part of this exciting and heretofore hidden, secretive world. They get excited about ARCs and swag and blog tours, and enjoy talking to authors personally. Generally these reviewers will have a positive attitude to books they review: they'll usually try to find something good to say, even if a certain book wasn't for them. They might only review books that they love and not mention any that they did not like or failed to finish. Or they may publish negative reviews, but view this as a sad, serious duty. They feel it's only right to treat authors and their work with a lot of respect, so they will, rarely if ever, employ snark or humour when they air their opinions.

These are the bloggers who are usually very happy to have an author for a chum, and who don't mind authors popping onto their blog and commenting on the reviews and features.

Bloggers on the other side of the divide look at publishing more like this:

Oooh, this is going to be fuuuun...

While still on the whole respecting authors and publishers, these guys take a more worldly view. They see the relationship between reviewers, authors and publishers not as a privilege but as a pragmatic arrangement, with all sides getting benefit from the exchange of books/swag and reviews/publicity. Some reviewers don't accept ARCs or swag at all because they feel like it encourages a sense of endebtedness that prevents them from being honest. They take their reviews seriously, but that won't stop them from snarking and using humour (including .gifs or photoshopped images) to make a point either in favour of or against of books which aroused strong feelings in them. If they feel that an author or publisher messed up in some way they will call them on it fiercely, and they post negative reviews without a blink. They don't believe it's their job to shelter an author's feelings by finding good things to say about their work: they believe it's their job to be completely honest and give readers their unadulterated, sincere reaction to books, even if they didn't finish them.

Bloggers in this camp tend to be wary of being too friendly with authors, and they feel a bit squinky and uncomfortable if writers pop onto their blogs and comment, even if the comment is positive. The author doesn't really belong there, to their mind.

Sometimes the most extreme of these two types of bloggers will clash because they have such opposing styles and ways of looking at the business they're dealing with. But the real reason why there's such a huge divide these days? Well, it's because of...

AUTHORS

Obviously it's a bit harder for me to be objective here! But I'll do my best.

Basically: writers are now more active online than they've ever been before, and publishers are encouraging us to interact with and form working relationships with bloggers in order to help promote our work.

Quite often writers end up grativating towards bloggers in the first group that I mentioned, just because those guys are the most receptive and the most likely to be happy taking part in blog tours, etc. They can form real friendships with bloggers (the ones that are fine with this) in the course of working with them on, say, an interview feature, and then talking with them at a blogger event, and tweeting and emailing back and forth for a bit. This is hardly surprising, since most writers are avid readers and - look at that! So are bloggers. They already have a lot in common. For an author, getting to know bloggers who like you and your work means that you suddenly have a whole network of new people in your corner.

But not all bloggers can be - or should be - your friend. Not all bloggers can - or should - like your work.

And this, in my purely subjective opinion, is where the crazy starts.

(N.B. I'm aware that there have been authors who had a mental breakdown over a generally positive three star review. But those guys are usually so obviously unbalanced that EVERYONE backs away with wary looks, including other writers. I don't think those people are materially contributing to the Us vs. Them mentality I've noticed - they are outliers. So let's move on).

Authors might be resigned (or tell themselves that they're resigned) to seeing negative reviews of their books. Reviews in which the blogger sadly admits that the story didn't work for them for some reason, that they couldn't empathise with the heroine or that historical fiction/fantasy/Dystopian just isn't the reviewer's bag. Those are the sorts of reviews that our blogger friends do occasionally write, after all. Reviews that the blogger is well aware the author and publisher may read, and which are sensitive to and considerate of the writer and publisher's feelings in consequence. Authors grit their teeth and mumble under their breath, but generally manage to avoid making idiots of themselves over reviews like these.

What writers are really not resigned to seeing, and what normally is the start of The Internet Drama(TM) is a different kind of review. One written by a reviewer who has no interest in what the author or publisher might think if they read it (the review isn't FOR them, after all) and who feels no reluctance about expressing their problems with or outright dislike of the book. A review that may (le gasp) snark, make jokes and outright mock the story. Possibly using .gifs of Tribbles humping.

Writers are not prepared for this. For someone making fun of their book like it doesn't matter. And so, often in a blaze of wild emotion, the author takes to their email or Twitter or Facebook and Says Stuff. They might just say 'Argh! I hate Teh Internetz today!'. They might take it further and make condemning comments about the quality of reviewers on Goodreads. They might go the full cray-cray route and provide a link to the review they didn't like. But in any case, the moment that the author responds to the negative review?

BATTLE HAS BEGUN

Straight away, people on the author's side of the divide will flinch from their pain and attempt to soothe them. And because this - authors publicly weeping over bad reviews - has now happened approximately 12,900,670 times before, and there's this sense of Authors vs. Bloggers online (why are bloggers so mean? Why do they have to attack books and rip them up like this?) their responses will usually be something along these lines:

'Oh, honey! It's OK, your book is wonderful! Just ignore that silly hater! Goodreads is full of trolls anyway!'

In their urge to reassure their friend, client, co-worker or fellow author, this person or persons have fired the first canon.

Reviewers, who, not surprisingly, are very active online, will catch wind of this. Word will spread quickly that YET AGAIN an author is dissing reviewers (surely not? Don't writers ever learn?). The link is RT'ed, posted on Goodreads, and suddenly reviewers appear on the scene defending their right to write honest reviews without being attacked and labelled a hater or a troll, thank you very much.

This skirmish will last for a bit. Then someone will attempt to pour oil on the troubled waters by offering some variant of:

'Why can't we all just get along? Why do we have to be mean to each other? Why can't we all just...Be Nice?'

Oh, look, that's not oil. It's lighter fluid. Whoosh!

Sometimes the author will calm down, look at this huge Internet Drama(TM) and apologise. Sometimes the furore will make them even angrier and the war will drag on and on and on until everyone's sick to the back teeth with it. But eventually the battle will finish and both sides will retreat to their own sides feeling bruised and battered and wondering: why does this keep happening?

And everytime, that Bloggers vs. Authors feeling just gets stronger and stronger.

The reviewers angrily ask themselves why writers can't get it through their skulls that reviews are for READERS not WRITERS. Why are they even reading reviews and hanging around on Goodreads to begin with if they hate honest reviews so much? Authors put their books out there for people to read and respond to - they presumably WANT readers to have strong reactions to their work. They don't have the right to just take it back and throw a tantrum when someone's reaction isn't all beatific smiles and gushy five star praise. Reviewers are consumers. They're the audience the writer is trying to win over! Why do so many authors think it's OK to treat their own customers like crap?

Writers angrily ask themselves why it's OK for reviewers to respond to an author's book, but not for an author to respond to the review. After all, reviews are for public consumption just as much as books are! If reviewers are all about honesty and freedom of speech, how come they come boiling out of their anthills to eat writers alive the moment one of them dares to mention their feelings about less than favourable responses to their work? Why do reviewers always automatically take a stance of hostility and hatred towards authors when authors dare to involve themselves in a debates about star ratings, or try to correct a reviewer who might have gotten their facts wrong? Aren't we all supposed to be part of the same community?

Well, OK. Let's tackle some of this stuff, shall we?

REVIEWERS: YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT

You guys are writing for yourselves, your friends, your blog readers. You're being honest, you're being passionate and yeah, you're having a few laughs: why the heck not? You shouldn't have to censor yourselves because you're worrying about the author's/agent's/publishers feelings. This is a business: writers/agents/publishers are supposed to be professional, and no matter how much their feelings are concerned with their work, that's not an excuse to act like a five year old whose best friend said their Play-Doh house was stoopid. It's especially not an excuse to mobilise all the other kids in the playground and wage a hate campaign against anyone who doesn't agree that the Play-Doh house is the best one-level soft sculpted domiciliary ever built.

You read a whole heck of a lot of books. You love books. You usually go in there excited and ready to be pleased. But sometimes you get sick of seeing the same crap repeated over and over in every crop of hyped up would-be-bestsellers. Misogyny disguised as romance. Designated Boyfriends and Passive Heroines. Horrible cliches. Bad writing. Predictable plots. Lack of diversity.

And no one ever admits this! YA writers (and agents and other publishing professionals) just don't seem interested in looking at their category as a whole and admitting that there might be problems there. If it weren't for you guys there would be no antidote to the hype-machine - and on a personal note, there have been times when finding a few snarky, honest reviews of a book that I thought was terrible, but which otherwise garnered only positive reviews, might just have saved my sanity.

All too often, when you guys try to discuss troubling trends or issues seriously, authors either play it off or turn on you. And then those authors hold grudges. Certain authors threatened to remember your name if you reviewed them badly, and do you harm further down the line if they could - and they then somehow tried to label this 'Taking the High Road'! And when you started asking yourselves if there was some kind of YA Mafia, Twitter exploded with YA novelists nearly peeing themselves with laughter and making jokes about horses heads and sleeping wit da fishes - but no one ever really addressed your concerns over the pettiness and sheer meanness of that Be Nice threat.

In fact, it seems like the whole YA industry is so concerned with this idea of Being Nice, of projecting an image of child-friendly harmoniousness, that no one is ever going to tackle the issues that lie beneath unless you do.

REVIEWERS: YOU ARE ALSO IN THE WRONG

But you know that oft-repeated phrase 'reviews are for readers, not writers'? Now, I can see where you're coming from with this, I really can. Unfortunately - I'm sorry, but...it's complete and total bull.

Seriously. Writers are readers. We read reviews all the time when we want to decide what books WE should read. We review books to our friends over dinner, we spontaneously tweet about how everyone should run out and get the book we just read because It. Is. So. Awesome. And let's not forget that bloggers with a different approach to reviewing send us emails of reviews they have written, or @reply us on Twitter with links. They *want* us to read them. Reviews are EVERYWHERE, yo.

There's this sense among certain bloggers (and some writers, even) that the best policy is for writers to put their fingers in their ears and sing 'la la la, I'm not listening!' when it comes to reviews. That we should wilfully pretend to have zero awareness that anyone's talking about us or our work - or anyone else's work! But not everyone wants to completely cut themselves off from critical discussions of books just because they got published. Many of us are able to read even quite snarky reviews of our own or our friends work without freaking out and creating An Internet Drama(TM). So please will you stop repeating 'Reviews are for READERS not WRITERS' all the time? You make me feel like I'm doing something wrong when I go looking for book criticism in order to learn from it. And I'm not. You're not my mommy and you can't tell me to stop hanging around on Goodreads if I don't want to, dammit.

Maybe most important of all: please, stop telling us how we should feel about reviews, OK? I understand that seeing newbie bloggers, and your friends (maybe even yourself) get attacked by authors and a hoard of their friends and yes-people over and over has made you feel so wary that now the second an author impinges on your personal space you hit out as hard as you can. But please just stop with that shizz about how 'authors should just get over this!' or 'authors shouldn't pursue publication if they can't take criticism' or 'writers should toughen up and grow a thicker skin', will you? If an author says that 3-star reviews make them sad, that's not them attacking YOU. That is them expressing their own feelings, which they are allowed to have.

When I saw a review trashing my most recent release for daring to feature a transgendered character I got cross and I vented to my writing group. I didn't mention the reviewer's name or link to them, and half an hour later I felt better and got over it. But I needed that half hour to be allowed to be honestly distressed and to get some sympathy, because I'm human. Reviewers don't always have to take every expression of an author's feelings about a bad review as an attack on them and their rights. What's more, you don't have the right to try and silence authors when they express their feelings about getting reviews: we're entitled to free speech too, so long as we're not trying to take yours away.

You don't have to Be Nice with me. You officially have my permission to BE NASTY about my books if you feel they warrant it (not that you need my permission). But don't tell me how to feel about that, please. If I want to read every buggering review ever written about every book I've ever published and then cry myself into a soggy snotty puddle on my teddy bear that is MY BUSINESS.

No, I shouldn't pop up on your blog and try to inflict equal suffering on you. But you shouldn't try to minimise my feelings or my right to have them, either. That's exactly what those authors did to you, so you already know it sucks donkey rear-end. Just stop it.

Did he say 3 Stars? MY LIFE IS OVER!!!

WRITERS: YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT

You guys are dealing with a heck of a lot of pressure when your book comes out, and I know that. You've dedicated hours, days, weeks, months and years of your lives to creating this story. You've more than likely made other sacrifices too - financial ones, ones concerning commitments to your friends and family. Your book is important to you and you know that it's the best you can do - your heart and soul is in there and you're allowed to want to know how people respond to it, and feel emotional about that. You're allowed to get angry when you see someone dismiss your heroine as a Mary-Sue when you are extremely-very-bloody sure she is NOT, thanks very much. Particularly when you look at the reviewer's other reviews and see that she calls EVERY female character this! AND SHE CLAIMS TO BE A FEMINIST!? How come the only books she reviews positively are ones written by men or with male main characters? What the Heck?

Sometimes reviews will even seem to be attacking you personally (maybe because they disagree with your stated religious beliefs, or don't like the other writers you hang around with online) or offering statements about your motives in making certain choices in your writing that are not only utterly unfounded but extremely insulting. You know you're not supposed to respond to this and, just barely, you manage not to.

But you are human, after all. So you go and vent a bit to a friend online, maybe on Twitter - and the next thing you know, everyone's wagging their finger at you like you were a toddler. It wasn't like you linked to the review or tried to call the reviewer out - you just said that sometimes Goodreads gives you a headache and you wish people would stop Mary-Sueing all over the place. Now there's a Goodreads thread about it and they're all putting your book on a Do Not Read list? Gaaah! Why do reviewers treat you like the enemy all the time? Do you really have to watch every single word you say?

You should be given a little more leeway to express yourself online if you want without being labelled A Bad Author. After all, you didn't give up your right to free speech when you signed a publishing contract, and if reviewers are allowed to express their feelings, you are too. Sometimes it's that or just explode in a messy heap of guts. It's funny that reviewers will condemn YA authors for not speaking 'honestly' about the work of other authors in their category (for example, if writers chose to only review books that they liked on their blog) but then get on their case when they're honest...about how bad reviews make them feel.

WRITERS: YOU ARE ALSO IN THE WRONG

Unfortunately, when you signed that publishing contract, you did become a paid professional, and that comes with certain expectations of professional behaviour. It might not seem fair, and often people who should be encouraging you to hold to that standard will act like it doesn't matter (for example, agents who have shown up on blogs or on Goodreads to 'defend' their clients work) but I'm sorry, it DOES. You have to act like a grown-up online. Cry and wail and get upset in private all you want, but don't take that internal upset online and try to hurt a book reviewer with it. Just what do you expect to achieve? They're not going to change their minds because you go and tell them off, are they?

And no, us writers can't complain that a review isn't 'professional'. Even if the writer of that review was unfailingly snarky and used comical .gifs of Tribbles humping to make our story a laughing stock. Because guess what? 99.99% of the time, bloggers are not professionals. They're not getting paid (no, ARCs don't count. They just don't! Look, if you don't get it, I can't explain). Reviewers do this for free, and while many of them take it very seriously, it is, effectively, a hobby. Do you expect Grandma Bessie to 'be polite and professional' when she takes part in her hobby of strip poker on a Wednesday night? I didn't think so.

And here's another truth that is spikey and hard to swallow. Unless a reviewer makes an ad hominem attack on you personally (something which is generally frowned on within all parts of the blogging community)? THEY CANNOT BE WRONG.

Shocking, I know. But think about it for a minute. There's no universe in which you dismissing someone else's feelings as worthless and invalid is OK. If someone reads five pages of your book and it made them so angry and infuriated that they refused to read another page and then wrote a three page long rant against it? They are right. Their feelings are theirs. You're obviously not going to agree with them (and Hell, if they're ranting because you didn't burn the gay character, maybe they're objectively out of their tree too) but that doesn't mean you're allowed to move into their reviewing space and attempt to erase their feelings from the internet. Especially not using a hastily gathered gang of pissed off friends and followers, as some writers have done. I'll put your book on *MY* Do Not Read list if you try and pull that crap.

The simple fact is that books are written to be reviewed. That's what Goodreads and LibraryThing are for. But reviews are not like books. Reviews are not written to be reviewed in their turn. Yes, they're put out there for public consumption, just like a novel, but bloggers don't ask you or anyone to pay to consume them. As you're an author, they'd probably rather you DIDN'T consume them. Just because there's a comment trail on that blog post or Goodreads review, that's not an invitation from the reviewer for people (including you) to come along and tell them they are wrong, wrong, wrong. Why are you intruding on this place, their place for reviews, with your not-a-review comments?

Go away and cry yourself into a soggy puddle of snot on your teddy bear if that's how you feel. You have that right. Ask for sympathy in non-specific terms - you have that right too. But don't be yet another author who starts a flamewar because they couldn't respond to criticism any other way than with public meltdown. Don't be yet another author who persecutes and devalues the very readers - the passionate, dedicated, searching for excellence readers - we should all be supporting and valuing the most.

Passionate readers are our friends! Snuggle them!

So what it comes down to is that I think we all need to ease our trigger fingers OFF our derringers and stop trying to make each other shut up all the time.

WRITERS: If you can't stand to read a negative review without going into public meltdown then stop reading reviews. If you can, and you want to, then do; but confine any comments you make in response to YOUR space and YOUR feelings, and never, ever, ever name reviewers or link to negative reviews or make obvious references to comments in reviews that will allow your friends or readers to figure out who you're talking about. Reviewers that get attacked because you called them out directly or indirectly will have every right to get a wee bit cross with you.

REVIEWERS: If you can't stand to see authors bitch about how bad reviews make them feel, unfollow them on Twitter or stop checking out their blogs. Writers are human too, and they are allowed to have and express their feelings in their own spaces on the internet, just like you. Unless they call you or a friend out either by name or in such a way that it's clear they're giving the reviewer's indentity away in order to cause a backlash against them, or they write darn stupid posts urging reviewers to stop being honest and start being 'nice'. Then you're free to go to war.

Other than that? Keep up the good work.

And those are my thoughts.

(Why yes, I have illustrated this entire post with images from Ouran High School Host Club. I thought it might lighten the mood.)

THANK YOU

Good morning and a very happy Wednesday to all, Dear Readers. Today's flying post is to offer all of you a heartfelt thank you for your response to yesterday's post.

When I 'officially' announced that BAREFOOT ON THE WIND was available for pre-orders on Amazon and said that the more people who ordered it before publication, the better it would be, I really hoped that a few people would respond. But I had no idea that within twelve hours, I'd see this:

This makes me feel so hopeful and so grateful to you all, Dear Readers. On a personal level, it's amazing to know that people are anticipating something that you've created, that they want to share it with you. And, on a business level? It's not just me that will be happy and excited about this. Hopefully my publisher will be too, which, as I said before, increases the chances that there will be more books by me available for you to enjoy in the future. It can make such a difference, guys. YOU can make such a difference.

Massive hugs to everyone who read, RTed or shared yesterday's post, and massive hugs and smooches to anyone who scrounged down the back of the sofa to find the cash to pre-order BAREFOOT ON THE WIND. I really hope that you'll enjoy it :)

As a special thank you, here's a short sneaky snippet from the book (which I'm currently editing, so the final version may be a tiny bit different). Click the cut to read it!

BAREFOOT ON THE WIND PRE-ORDERS ARE LIVE! (And other news)

Hello, and Happy Tuesday, Dear Readers! I hope you've had a great weekend and a good week so far.

The title of today's post might seem a bit confusing, since I announced as part of last week's blog that pre-orders for my next book were now possible. But a lot of people seem to have skimmed by that bit in order to get to the good stuff further down - at least, I assume so, because when I mentioned it on Twitter everyone was really surprised and shocked! So I thought I'd do another, proper announcement with a few key facts about the book. Here goes!

BAREFOOT ON THE WIND, my eighth novel, will be out on the first of September this year. You can pre-order it here.

The book is a re-imagining of the classic faerytale Beauty and the Beast. In my version, instead of a beautiful young noblewoman volunteering to be a hostage in an enchanted castle in order to save her father's life, we have Hana: a sturdy and pragmatic village girl, who takes to the enchanted woods that surround her village home in order to hunt down the terrible beast which terrorizes her people. It's one of my favourite things that I've ever written, probably because Beauty and the Beast is my second favourite fairytale of all time (after 'The Wild Swans') and also because I had to wait four years in order to finally get the chance to make the story I envisaged a reality.

The book is an official companion novel to Shadows on the Moon, set in the same fairytale Japan, called Tsuki no Hikari no Kuni.

There's more detail about the thought processes that went into the story here, this is where you can add it on Goodreads if you want, and you can listen to the writing playlist I used here. And this is the Pinterest board, for good measure.

Just between you and me, guys, the more pre-orders we get for this book the better. So if you were thinking of ordering/buying this book at some point, and you think you'll have the money to cover it when it's released in September, do me a massive favour and put your order in now. You will be helping to improve the chances of there being more books from me for you to read in the future, and, in addition, I will owe you an epic smooch (collect any time!).

In other - rather lovely - news, this Sunday (the 28th) between 5-6pm I'll be participating in the Guardian Teen Fantasy Twitter chat, hosted by Emily Drabble. Other authors participating are Sally Green, Samantha Shannon, Alwyn Hamilton, Taran Matharau and Lucy Saxon. Anyone can tweet us questions about YA, fantasy or both under the hashtag #GdnTeenFantasy. I hope to see some Dear Readers there, so please don't be shy and chip in with whatever questions or comments you might have!

Next week I'm going to try to (at long last) produce a post about the art and craft of world-building, so if you have any questions related at that, toss them at me on Twitter or in the comments. Read you later, my muffins!

A QUESTION OF EDUCATION

Hello, hello, hello Dear Readers! I hope everyone had a decent festive/midwinter experience and a pleasant new year? Today's post is in answer to a reader question, but before I get started I want to share links for a couple of guest posts that I did over the Christmas period in case you're interested in checking those out.

Firstly, my regular gig on Author Allsorts, in which I talk about books you absolutely should read to get into the seasonal wintery spirit (it's still winter, so these are still good recommendations!).

Second, my 5-4-3-2-1 post over on the lovely Jim's Teens on Moon Lane blog. This is a great, unique interview format and I really enjoyed doing it.

Now onto the question from Kai, which was received via my website. An apology to Kai is due here - I addressed you by the wrong name in my hasty email reply to you, and I'm very sorry to have done that. I hope you'll forgive me.

Kai asks:

"...do you need a creative writing degree or English literature degree to write stories well? I mean I love story writing because its a great hobby to have but I want to improve my writing obviously so I don't have to cringe as much when I read over my notes.

The problem is I don't know how much it would help. I mean the cost of degrees have gone up again and I tend to think just practice is the best way to improve anyone's story writing but now I'm just not so sure. So um if you're not too busy can you answer the question whether its necessary or not to need a creative writing or English literature degree to be able to write stories that you don't cringe at."

Kai, I firmly believe that education is a wonderful thing, a mind-altering, world-broadening thing. One of my big regrets in life is that I didn't pursue higher education. I was held back from doing so - despite promising exam results at GCSE - because I had no idea of the possibilities that it could offer up for me.

You see, I come from a very poor, working-class background in one of the most deprived areas in Great Britain. My parents grew up after the second world war, but in many ways their early lives were still practically Victorian. As kids, they lived in two-up-two-down houses where ten children slept crammed into two beds in one room, where there was no indoor plumbing (the toilet was in an outhouse in the back yard, and the family bathed in a tin hip bath in front of a coal fire in the living room) and it was quite normal for kids to go to school with no shoes.

The boys went on the trawler boats when they grew up - or later, into the fish factories - and the women worked in the factories too, until they got married. My dad was considered to be very posh because he became a type-writer service engineer, and then a photocopier engineer and office manager. No one in my immediate family had ever gone to university. Only one person had even gone to college and I don't think she finished.

Given all this, it's not entirely surprising that while my parents were proud of my results at school, they were clueless as to what to do about them. They had no expectations for me at all. And perhaps it's not surprising that my school didn't have any particular expectations, either. 'Clever' girls like me (ones who tested well and didn't act up too much) were told in school that we had two options open to us to 'make something of ourselves'. We could either skip uni and fix our hopes on finding work in an office (as a receptionist, a filing clerk, a secretary, maybe a PA if we were lucky) or we could go to university and become a teacher or a nurse.

That was it. Those were the options, the only set of possible futures which was presented to me. Now, you might wonder why I didn't think for myself, do research, find out about other possibilities. But it never occurred to me that I could, let alone that I should. This was in the years before the internet was widely available (by the age of sixteen I'd been on the internet a grand total of once, and that was to check out this wondrous new thing called a 'chatroom' with a bunch of classmates under a teacher's strict supervision) and before most homes had a computer anyway, so the only way I could access information about how university and the wider world worked was through my teachers and the occasional visits of a school career advisor. And that's what they told me: receptionist/secretary or teacher/nurse. This was the best I could possibly hope for.

Once, my drama teacher asked me what I intended to do after leaving school. I told him, rather resignedly, that I'd probably be a teacher. He stared at me, sighed, and then said: 'What a waste'. Then he walked off. Presumably that was his idea of encouragement? But since I had no idea what else I could be or why it would be a waste - he was a teacher wasn't he? And I knew my parents would probably die of pride if I became a teacher, since it was a 'profession' and a highly respectable job - it fell rather short.

Honestly, I wasn't all that thrilled at the idea myself. My family was convinced that I wouldn't be eligible for any educational grants or financial help (looking back I'm fairly sure I would have been, but again - no easy way to check, and no one offering any advice or encouragement on how to find out) and the thought of trudging off to the glamour of Hull university (the closest and therefore cheapest option) in order to spend a chunk of years training to do a job I didn't really want to do, and ending up with a heap of debt at the end of it, did not exactly set my heart afire, you know?

If only someone had told me that I could set my sights higher than that! If only someone had told me I might be able to go to a university somewhere amazing, that there were options for financial assistance, that I could look for a place in any one of hundreds of possible careers! That I could train to be a graphic designer, or an actor, or an archival librarian, or an archeologist, an academic professor focusing on the Classics, or a public relations manager for a charity! If only someone had explained that heading to university was about more than choosing a single door to a single, dreary future and then plodding wearily forwards without looking left or right...

But you do know all that, Kai. You have these options open to you. It's a joyous thing.

So am I saying that the answer to your question is 'Yes, you should go to university in order to become a good writer'?

No.

There are certainly careers for which a university degree in the correct subject is an absolute must. If you want to become an engineer, a designer, a teacher, a medical professional, a physicist... you are going to need a university education. But being a writer is not one of those careers.

You absolutely do not need to have a degree - in an English related subject, or in any subject at all - to write well. And no one expects it, either, despite the rise of courses which specialise in creative or even children's/YA writing. I can say with absolute honesty that no publishing professional - editor, publisher, agent, writer - has ever asked me about my educational background except as a matter of idle interest. Which is a good thing, because eventually I decided to skip university, and became first a dental nurse and then a civil servant, two jobs which widened my world immensely by way of forcing me to deal firmly, competently and compassionately with every possible kind of person in every kind of difficult situation imaginable. 

A lot of writers have degrees in English or journalism, yes - but even more have degrees in history, chemistry or Medieval paper-binding techniques; still more have no degree at all. I know two people whose theses focused on children's literature. One's a teacher and the other is in public relations.

There are many people out there with advanced degrees who can't write worth a jot even on a basic, technical level. I would know. The number of high level managers - with degrees proudly framed on their office walls - in the civil service who couldn't compose the simplest coherent sentence for an important inter-office memo was staggering (and embarrassing) for all involved. I used to print these emails out, correct their spelling, grammar and punctuation in red, and leave them lying around in the break room for my over-worked, bullied colleagues to laugh at. People only get out of university what they're willing to work for - and if all they want is a shiny piece of paperwork which will allow them to slither into a plush executive job and then coast for life... that's what they end up with.

It's a narrow, sad kind of way to make use of the opportunities life gives you, though.

Anyway, if you decide that it's worthwhile for you to undertake that financial burden and dedicate years of your life to getting a degree, Kai - and it's a big decision, so it's good to consider it carefully - then you should make that decision for the right reasons and with realistic expectations of what a university education can offer you.

Do it because there's a subject you're fascinated with and simply must learn more about. Because you want to broaden your mind and horizons with the experience. Because you want to live in and explore a different place than the one where you grew up. Because you want to meet fascinating new people. Because you have specific goals for your life - perhaps a career that you can pursue alongside writing - which a degree will help you to achieve.

Do not go to university because you think getting a degree will teach you how to be a writer. It won't.

Only you can teach yourself how to be a writer, and clearly you already have a pretty good leg up on that process. You know that re-reading what you've written with a critical eye (yes, that's the bit that makes you cringe) and practicing are vital. So are reading widely and enthusiastically. And so is experiencing life itself, whether that life includes a stint at uni or not.

If you do chose English based subjects at uni, it's possible that might be a really good experience for you. If you get a passionate, engaged teacher or professor who mentors young writers well, they could offer a lot of encouragement and support. Or, it could suck the joy right out of reading and writing for you (which was my experience when studying for GCSE English and when taking a creative writing course at night afterwards) and be no use at all. There's no way of knowing in advance - which is why you should only study English related subjects if you're passionate about them quite aside from your hope of being a writer one day.

No matter what else you do, keep teaching yourself to write, and don't rely on anyone else to get you through that process. You might write your first publishable manuscript at twenty, or thirty, or forty. In the meantime, take advantage of whatever opportunities seem the best fit for you, and live your life fully and well. And if possible, pick a job that you can enjoy and believe in, which will adequately support you unless and until your writing does (whether that job requires a degree or not). That way you'll always be a winner.

I hope this is helpful, Kai! Any other questions about this or any other writing or reading related topic can be left in the comments. Next week I'm sharing my recipe for spiced caramel apple cake - look forward to it :)

FRAIL HUMAN HEART BLOGTOUR: DAY #4

Ooooh, it's Thursday - the weekend is nearly here, my darlings! Just hang in there. And if it helps, I'm here today to bring the next installment of the FRAIL HUMAN HEART Blogtour, which is making a visit to Teens on Moon Lane, a new book blog that I love.

I'll be doing one of their 5-4-3-2-1 guest posts later on in the year - either August or September - so I'll be sending you back over then, but for now, check out today's snippet because it's the last... tomorrow, I'm pretty sure, we start on the juicy spoilerific deleted scenes (*le gasp!).

In other news, today I'm taking Finn the Devil Hound to the groomers, and let me tell you - parents taking their kids to have vaccinations is nothing to it.

Kids don't usually start making pathetic whining and crying noises the second you get them into the car or scrabble with their wee paws on the floor to try to escape. Or basically ignore you for twenty-four hours afterward because they feel so hurt and betrayed that you would leave them in that strange place (even though they've been going to that 'strange place' once every two months for two years).

Left to itself, Finn's hair - much like that of the cocker spaniels from whom he is descended - would literally grow until it brushed the floor. It's silky and gorgeous, but not at all practical for a dog who loves to splash through muggy, twiggy coppices and leap into green, weed-filled ponds. Once it reaches a certain length it not only drives me crazy but him - he'll start getting itchy and scratching and chewing at himself, and has even made himself quite sore on previous occasions.

What's more, grass seeds, those tiny weapons of mass destruction, will work themselves into the long

fur on his fluffy webbed feet and then actually into the flesh of his feet themselves (they're designed so that the movement of the animal they've latched onto will cause them to spiral, effectively 'drilling' into the fur and skin, because that way the animal concerned will carry the seeds far away from the parent plant).

When grass seeds burrow into your dog's feet it causes them terrible discomfort. They'll often do even worse damage to themselves trying to chew the painful splinter out and then you're off to the vet's for surgery. I can check Finn's feet twice a day for grass seeds, but once his fur reaches a certain length it just becomes impossible to be sure he's seed free, and if I never have to see him whimpering with pain, with blood spurting from between his toes as he seemingly tries to bite one of his own paws off again, it'll be too soon.

I used to do his grooming myself, with the help of a heavy old shaver that belonged to my brother and my father to hold, lift, and turn Finn, and help me get him in and out of the bath. I couldn't do it alone after I had the prolapsed disc in my spine. But now that dad's gone there's no one to help me. So every six to eight weeks, during the spring and summer months, like clockwork, we head to the groomers... and I become Bad Mummy The Betrayer to my dog for a day.

Honestly, wish me good luck. I'll need it to deal with the emotional blackmail alone...