Wednesday, 19 October 2016

CHECKING IN

Hi guys - I hope you're having a good week so far (or if not, that it looks up from this point).

The Massive Reviewer Reward Giveaway is over and everyone except one person has their prizes, but if you didn't win there's no need for despair. I'm currently running another giveaway for three signed copies of BAREFOOT ON THE WIND on Goodreads, so anyone who couldn't enter the first giveaway for whatever reason stands a chance of winning there. Check it out.

More good news: this lovely review from Amanda Craig in the new SCOOP Magazine, in which she calls the book 'Beautifully written and imagined' and all sorts of other nice things.

Now for... not so good news. This week some results came back from the vet and gave me a diagnosis that I never, ever wanted to see. Finn has cancer. It's lymphoma, which is treatable (thankfully I kept on stubbornly paying his insurance premiums, year on year, even though they've gotten to the level of ludicrous and lately I've had to make some hard choices about paying the insurance vs. my grocery bill) but not curable. What that means is that he'll have veterinary chemotherapy, designed to ease any symptoms and make the patient comfortable without too many side effects, but not to actually extend his life if it will make him suffer. I might get a few extra months with him... but at the end of that time the cancer will come back and that will be the end of the road.

I'm taking him to hopefully start that treatment today, and I'm praying that he will respond well to it and he'll get as much time as possible with the best quality of life possible before I have to let him go. My dad used to joke that Finn was his favourite grandchild, and he spent so much time playing with and training him that I felt as if he really belonged to both of us. They shared the same personality - mischievous, silly, inquisitive, clever, gentle and affectionate. Even Finn's occasional bouts of selective deafness and pigheaded stubbornness remind me of dad. Facing the prospect of losing him is... pretty bad.

Anyway, if things are rather quiet around here for the next little while, you'll know why. I'm still hoping to take part in NaNo - writing has always been a solace and source of comfort to me during the worst times, and I will definitely need something else to think about. I'll try to check in again at least a couple of times as November progresses and let you know how it worked at the end of the month. Anyone else who is doing NaNo this year is super welcome to add me as a buddy over on the website.

Any good thoughts and good wishes you might have spare, Dear Readers, will be much appreciated. I think Finn and I will both need them.



8 comments:

Rachel Balcombe said...

Oh no, Zoe, I'm so sorry to hear about Finn's diagnosis. Sending hugs and prayers out to both of you. xx

Zoë Marriott said...

Thanks, Rachel - I appreciate it. xx

Vivienne Dacosta said...

Oh Zoe. I'm so sorry to hear this. I really hope he responds well to give you more time together. To us, our animals are part of the family and times like this are so hard. Sending positive thoughts your way x

Zoë Marriott said...

Viv: I've had to veto the idea of chemo now - it turns out that you have to avoid any 'direct contact' with the dog for the period of the treatment, which would be six months, because of how toxic the drugs are. I couldn't do that - he's been used to hugs, kisses on the nose, and sleeping on my legs his whole life, and to deprive him of that just when he's ill and frightened and needs my affection the most... it would break his heart. So steroids are probably the only option, and they won't buy him much time, but he should feel better for the time he has. That's going to have to be enough.

Ferret said...

I'm really sorry, Zoe. All sympathy and prayers.

Zoë Marriott said...

Thanks, Ferret. It's... not good. Don't know what I'm going to do without him - but I also can't bear to watch him suffer or be the cause of extending that suffering. Poor baby.

Phoenixgirl said...

Oh, Zo, I'm so sorry. Much love to you and Finn.

Zoë Marriott said...

Thanks, Phoenix. I will give his squishy little face a kiss from you.

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