Sunday, 11 July 2010

WHY THEY SAY WRITERS ARE MAD

ME, GETTING READY TO GO SHOPPING

Writer: Eggs. Pot Noodles. Fish fingers? Hmmm.

Character: Oi!

Writer: (mumbles) wait a minute...just got to finish this shopping list...

Character: never mind the shopping list! This is far more important than bread and potatoes!

Writer: (mutters) Oh, that's right, we are running low on bread.

Character: PAY ATTENTION TO ME!

Writer: (startled) What! What?!

Character: I've just been reading your day's work, and you've not shown everyone how good a swimmer I am yet! They're not going to believe the next scene unless you do, and I don't intend to be scoffed at. Go back and fix it.

Writer: (muttering again) Show how good this character is as a swimmer...maybe with some sort of competition...

Character: No, you imbecile! I'm not that type of person at all! It'll need to be something casual, like if everyone's bathing at the river!

Writer: Ooh! Yes, right, right, I've got that. (Swiftly turns shopping list into scribbled notes about swimming scene). Oh, while you're at it, would you like to tell me a bit more about how you're going to react when you find this secret out about the other character? (Pauses). Hello? Are you there? Damn. (Pauses) Oh, no, my shopping list!

Character: Heh heh heh.

MY FRIEND'S VERSION

Character : I'm not getting a chance to show what I can do - no I don't mean a sex scene - show me winning a fight!

Writer: Oh, but unless it advances the plot then I don't...

Character: You can work it in somehow. Otherwise it's not faiiiiiiir.

Writer: (Weakening slightly) What sort of fight?

Character: Swords! The gentleman's weapon!

Writer: Swords. Yes, that could be cool. I'll see.

Character: And - and -

Writer: No 'ands'. Shut up.

Character: It's not faiiiiiiir....

4 comments:

Jen the bibliophile said...

Your posts always make me laugh. I always sit there talking to my characters and I don't even think twice. Most of the time lately I do it with my own life. Like I'm some kind of narrator to myself. The voices don't stop... oh well, I never really asked them to.

Jen
In the Closet With a Bibliophile

Zoë Marriott said...

I'm thinking of getting a t-shirt made saying 'Don't blame me, the voices made me do it'!

chelleyreads said...

Hi Zoë!
I received the Goodie Giveaway package yesterday! I LOVE your art work The Swan Kingdom and Daughter of the Flames. Thank you so, so much for everything! :D

-Michelle

P.S. Yup, you should definitely get a shirt made that says that! LOL, thanks for the post :)

Zoë Marriott said...

Hi Chelley,

Wow, that was fast. I'm glad you got everything safely and you like the art. There are extra things hidden in the books, but you'll have to read them to see...

Zxx

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