Dear Pair of Characters (You Know Who You Are)
I'm...sorry. Really, really sorry.
You've just had such a wonderful moment between you. A moment of human connection and warmth that I'm convinced has changed you both forever, and released one of you from a burden of isolation and loneliness you've carried for a very long time.
I'm so happy for you. So happy that after all the snarling and suppressed misery and stupid fights, you've been able to reach out to each other in this way. I know you're both feeling a strange sense of lightness right now and you're cautiously hopeful that things are going to change. For the better.
But you're wrong. Oh, so wrong.
Things are not going to get better. In fact, it is at this exact moment, just as you are about to find peace and perhaps - maybe - even the beginnings of love, that all Hell is going to break loose. By the end of this chapter I will have ripped both your guts out. It's going to be awful. I know it's going to hurt me a lot: but I don't want to minimise your suffering. I'm ready to admit that however much it hurts me, it'll hurt you more. MUCH MORE.
I try to be a good person, Pair of Characters. I do. But being a good writer has a rather different set of requirements, and that includes the willingness and ability to be an utter b*tch when both plot and character development require it. You're about to discover this.
My deepest sympathies go out to both of you. Really. I feel terrible.
Love,
Zoë x
P.S. I hope you won't hold it against me that I'm not actually going to send you this letter until after I've finished the eviscerating? You see, if you're forewarned you might manage to wriggle away, and I just can't have that. Sorry again.
Your loving author xx
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On a different note: Today I'm mailing out the prizes from the Goodie Giveaway. Unfortunately one item is missing from the Grand Prize and that's the playlist CD. My CD/DVD re-writer is, apparently, broken. I haven't used it in about three months, and sometime during that period it's stopped working. I'm really sorry, but the other goodies will hopefully make up for it.
Also, one of my prize winners has not contacted me yet. Ryuuoh-Elf, if you're reading this, please email me. A friend of yours has seen your winner status and has passed on your name and address, but I'm not really comfy sending anything anywhere until I have spoken to you myself. So please get in touch!
8 comments:
Oh dear, being in the country really makes me feel like I'm out of touch with civilisation. This is the first time I've been on in the computer in a while. Thanks for being so patient!
Email sent! :) (and thankyou so much, I'm realy, really excited.)
Hi Ryuuoh-Elf - glad to see you! Have you sent the email to the address listed on the Facebook button above? I haven't had it yet, and I just want to double-check your address.
Oh Zoe. I feel I have to refuse to read this book simply on principle. I HATE THE HURTING.
Forewarned, however, is forearmed! Not reading, no sir, I like my heart INTACT.
So.
>_>
Don't be a wimp! If you can survive reading Robin Hobb you can survive reading me. And this pair of characters is SO. CUTE. that the pain is going to be totally worth it. Trust me.
That's exactly it! I nearly DIDN'T survive! I HATE LOVE HATE THAT! I scream in my mind 'NOOOOOO DON'T DO IT DON'T HURT THEM'...sometimes I've even put the book down and thought 'NO!!!!'
And then I pick it up again.
Why are we so masochistic? :(
'Cos otherwise books would be really boring! The characters would never develop and change! My writing group have just been reminding me that all my favourite writers are Unholy B*tches to their characters too - we wouldn't love 'em otherwise.
And now, if you'll excuse me...I have some people to maim.
Cruel woman.
*Blows raspberry*
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