APOLOGIES

Hello, best beloveds. Today I bring you disappointment and despair - I'm so sorry, but there will be no posts this week (well, apart from this one, which is kind of rubbish, and more apologies for that).

Explanation: About ten days ago I cleared out my father's medical shed, where all his dialysis supplies are stored, and felt a wee twinge in my lower back. Then the next day I was changing the sheets on my bed, turned to pick up a duvet, and transformed the twinge to agony. AND THEN (oh yes, this story is only just beginning) I took my dad to the hospital for some tests, and since he can't walk very far I needed to push him in one of those Godawful, metal porter's chairs. My back was killing me. I tried to baby it, which meant I was pushing and turning the unwieldy chair with my upper body and arms. That was a mistake. The next day I woke up in agony, my neck and shoulders feeling as if someone had replaced all the tendons with burning hot wires and the muscles with slabs of concrete.

I've been trying to soldier on all bravely, popping anti-inflammatories and applying heat to all the injured bits, but yesterday I accidentally brushed against a hot radiator, which I had turned on because I was hanging up clothes to dry (yes, I was doing laundry, even though I couldn't raise my arms above chest height) and as I instinctively jerked away SOMETHING ELSE went pop in my back.

I am typing this from a horizontal position on my bed. My laptop is lying on my stomach. Not a good typing position. Especially since the fans are whirring and it's rather warm. I also have a hot-water bottle and a heating pad underneath me, pressed to my neck and back. It's a boiling hot summer's day, my entire spine is weeping red-hot tears of pain, and I may melt at any minute. I am... uncomfortable. And unhappy. And I cannot type many more paragraphs without bursting into years.

Forgive me. Hopefully things will start to hurt less soon (very soon. Hopefully. Yes) and I will be back next week. I know I promised to answer questions - I have them safe, and I will get to them as soon as I can. You may also catch me on Twitter a little bit, since 140 characters is about the limit of my creativity right now.

In the meantime, prayers, sacrificial offerings to the Gods of the Lumbar Region, and any lucky shamrocks anyone may like to dedicate to the cause of my back/neck would be much appreciated.

I love you, guys. Care take. Especially of your spines. Trust me: you will miss them when they are gone.